I'm not a Christian. So what?

I've never until recently had an experience where being a Christian really mattered. What, is it some sort of secret club? You have to "believe" in Jesus Christ just to get in? "Believe" that he's our "Lord and Savior"? Seriously... give me a break. How many people are "Christian" and don't give a good god damn about it? But ohhh, you say the lord's name in vain and they hate you forEVER. Who cares if they're cheating on their wife with the neighbors underage daughter? They're "Christian", and therefore they are "Good People".

Just recently I was told by a girl who I am currently on hiatus (IE dating) with that she wanted to "Save" me. It didn't hit me at first the full meaning of what she had said. What "Save" says to me, is something along the lines of a Christian Intervention so that my eternal immortal soul can be saved by invoking the name of Jesus and letting him into my heart.

Well, guess what. Jesus, first and foremost, was a mortal. I believe that he existed. I do not dispute his actions and his sacrifice. I admire him for what he did. But he was a mortal, just like me. People constantly go on and on about how he sacrificed his life to remove all of our sins, but forget about the teachings he had before he died. What happened to all of his words? His wisdom? His goodwill? Oh! Who gives a shit! He DIED FOR OUR SINS THATS MORE IMPORTANT. That means I can go out and rape and pillage and kill and destroy and have sex with GOATS and I'll still get into heaven because JESUS DIED FOR MY SINS. See? It's like a "Get out of hell free" card.

So again. Which is more important. His death? Or his LIFE?
I follow what he taught quite closely. I follow the Two Commandments and I consider myself to be a lot more true to Jesus' words of wisdom than a vast majority of "Christians". I've also done what many others believe to be blasphemy. I've experimented. I used to be pagan. Before that, I was wiccan. Before that, I was atheist. I've slowly found my path and questioned my faith. I never just 'accepted' that God was there, or just 'accepted' that Jesus and his gospels were any sort of 'true word of God'. No. I fought my way to where I am today.

I refuse to consider myself Christian because the vast majority of them are nothing but whiny bitches. "HELP! HELP! WE'RE BEING REPRESSED!"--Says the majority. They are Sunday Christians. Throughout the week they are assholes, some hit their wives (especially those damned Baptists), some do horrible things to their bodies with drugs and alcohol, some sit and do nothing and turn fat and disgusting, and some steal and cheat and rape. But HEY! They go to CHURCH on Sunday and they allow JESUS into their hearts. I find that being a Christian is for the most part, more of an excuse to be bad, than a reason to be good.

I refuse to be Catholic because I think that Priests and Altar Boys are just... well. Sick. Hey, why don't you let your damned priests marry so they can have VAGINAL sex with full grown women, instead of ANAL sex with young prepubescent boys?

I refuse to be pretty much any religion, because to be of any one religion, you have to succumb to the beliefs of the many. You must join the flock. You must not have your own opinion on how you would like to talk to God. You must allow someone else to do it for you. You must be a pawn. A lowly, insignificant, pawn.

With the experiences that I have had throughout my life, such as angelic encounters and some rather frightening dreams in the same medium, I know that there is a power beyond our understanding. I know that there is a God. I know that there are Angels--I have seen them. I have seen two of them to be exact. My guardian, and another who branded a Golden Sword--no clue who that would be, and I don't care to know either. To me it's not that big of a deal. I find it as more of an acceptance thing than a "OMG I SAW ANGELS WOWWW" thing.

Does me formerly being Pagan or Wiccan change how good of a person I am? No. Does my experimentation in what Christians have brandished as the "Dark Arts" change how good of a person I am? No. As Christians believe, God has a plan for all of us. So if there truly is any "one" faith, and that it is supposedly Christianity, then obviously God wanted me to experiment.

I've done what Christians refuse to do. I have questioned my faith. I have questioned it many, many times in my life. I take the matter incredibly seriously, despite always keeping it to myself (at least until recently... I guess). I KNOW now who I am. I KNOW now what is out there. I understand and don't question it anymore. Yet... if I'm not Christian, then obviously I'm talking to the "wrong God".

This infuriates me to no end. Not to the point of bloodshed however, because only religions do that. Me? I've just got my Faith.

So fuck American Christianity. It's the only country I've been to where they talk the talk and don't walk the walk.

I don't need a multimillion dollar church, a pastor with a different color car for every day of the week, and a cathedral (or in this day and age, mega colloseum) full of people who show up in their most expensive attire, their most expensive car, and most expensive jewelry just so that they can prove how wealthy they are.

I'm going to go carry on with my life knowing this, and I'll be so much better off than the majority for it.